Things to think about/talk about before marriage

Goals and Concerns

• What are your goals for yourself, for your fiancée and for the relationship?
• What are your concerns/fears for yourself, for your fiancée and for the relationship?

Money

Family of Origin Issues

• How did your parents deal with money?
• How does that impact how you deal with it?
• How might that impact your relationship?

Credit

• What is your credit history?
• What is your fiancée s credit history?
• How do you each manage debt (pay it off monthly, minimum payments, other)?
• What is your comfort level and your fiancee’s comfort level re debt?

Savings and Investments

• How much money should be in savings so that you feel “safe”?
• How much do you want to contribute to savings?
• What kinds of investments are you comfortable with?
• Do you and your fiancée have the same or different goals and plans?

Management and Control of Finances

• Will you and your fiancée pool your money?
• Who will pay the bills and keep the household books?
• How will spending decisions be made?
• At what dollar amount should you need to discuss a purchase before buying it?

Desired Level of Affluence

• How rich would you like to be?
• What is your plan for reaching your desired level of affluence?
• Do you and your fiancée have the same or different goals and plans?

Work and Retirement

Work

• What are your professional goals?
• Are you content with your current job?
• How much time do you expect to devote to working?
• In what ways  do you expect your fiancée to support  your professional goals?
• Is it OK if your fiancée doesn’t want to work?
• If not, are there any circumstances under which it would be OK?

Retirement

• When would you like to retire?
• What kind of lifestyle do you want to have when you retire?
• Do you have a financial plan for reaching your retirement goals?
• Do you and your fiancée have the same or different goals and plans?

Relationship

Handling Conflict

• How do you handle conflict?
• How does your fiancée  handle conflict?
• How have you handled conflict in your relationship?
• Would you like to handle conflict differently?
• Is there anything you would like your fiancée to do differently?

Strengths and Weaknesses

• What strengths do you bring to the relationship?
• Are there areas you would like to work on?
• What strengths does your fiancee bring?
• Are there areas you would like him/her to work on?

Do you Need a PMA

• Why are you interested in a PMA?
• What do you want to have happen as a result of having a PMA?
• What would you like to know about the community property system?

If you and your fiancée decide you need a PMA

• Are you both willing to take responsibility for the outcome?
• Are you both willing to fully participate in the process?