Pre-marital Checklist

Things to think about/talk about before marriage

Goals and Concerns

  • What are your goals for yourself, for your fiancée and for the relationship?
  • What are your concerns/fears for yourself, for your fiancée and for the relationship?

Money

Family of Origin Issues

  • How did your parents deal with money?
  • How does that impact how you deal with it?
  • How might that impact your relationship?

Credit

  • What is your credit history?
  • What is your fiancée s credit history?
  • How do you each manage debt (pay it off monthly, minimum payments, other)?
  • What is your comfort level and your fiancee’s comfort level re debt?

Savings and Investments

  • How much money should be in savings so that you feel “safe”?
  • How much do you want to contribute to savings?
  • What kinds of investments are you comfortable with?
  • Do you and your fiancée have the same or different goals and plans?

Management and Control of Finances

  • Will you and your fiancée pool your money?
  • Who will pay the bills and keep the household books?
  • How will spending decisions be made?
  • At what dollar amount should you need to discuss a purchase before buying it?

Desired Level of Affluence

  • How rich would you like to be?
  • What is your plan for reaching your desired level of affluence?
  • Do you and your fiancée have the same or different goals and plans?

Work and Retirement

Work

  • What are your professional goals?
  • Are you content with your current job?
  • How much time do you expect to devote to working?
  • In what ways  do you expect your fiancée to support  your professional goals?
  • Is it OK if your fiancée doesn’t want to work?
  • If not, are there any circumstances under which it would be OK?

Retirement

  • When would you like to retire?
  • What kind of lifestyle do you want to have when you retire?
  • Do you have a financial plan for reaching your retirement goals?
  • Do you and your fiancée have the same or different goals and plans?

Relationship

Handling Conflict

  • How do you handle conflict?
  • How does your fiancée  handle conflict?
  • How have you handled conflict in your relationship?
  • Would you like to handle conflict differently?
  • Is there anything you would like your fiancée to do differently?

Strengths and Weaknesses

  • What strengths do you bring to the relationship?
  • Are there areas you would like to work on?
  • What strengths does your fiancee bring?
  • Are there areas you would like him/her to work on?

Do you Need a PMA

  • Why are you interested in a PMA?
  • What do you want to have happen as a result of having a PMA?
  • What would you like to know about the community property system?

If you and your fiancée decide you need a PMA

  • Are you both willing to take responsibility for the outcome?
  • Are you both willing to fully participate in the process?